About Shelia
Int’l sPEAKER | CERTIFIED LIFE CoacH | aUTHOR | MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE | Certified Trainer
I have personally experienced the devastation that unaddressed trauma and incarceration leave in its path. My marriage to a man who had spent twenty-eight years behind bars and had years of adverse childhood experiences that were never addressed led to an unimaginable turn of events in my life, causing psychological issues.
Having overcome those issues, I now Coach women whose lives have also been negatively affected by the same mental health issues.
The transition from living my best life to a life of severe depression was difficult and unfathomable at times. How could I marry someone who spent 28 years in prison and not educate myself on psychological issues resulting from prison?
Searching for a support group supporting families of formerly incarcerated persons was very concerning; there was no such group I could find that provided support with an understanding of PICS. So I created what I and many others need. Through therapy, I have learned the first line of support has to be for yourself through self-care. Supporting a loved one who struggles mentally can be overwhelming and mentally depleting. I found my strength, power, passion, and purpose when I began to serve those affected by incarceration.
My journey has taken me on a rollercoaster ride; as I gained knowledge and understanding of Post Incarceration Syndrome, educating others became my purpose in life. Although the scar is still there, mentally, I’ve healed. I am not alone; the stories are endless. Therefore, I will not keep silent; my silence would violate those who need to know the truth about the effects of prison. My silence would be criminal and violent those in prison who need to know there is a high probability they will experience mental issues after prison.
I help individuals understand that a prison sentence does not have to be a life sentence with mental health issues. I support women in intimate relationships with system-impacted men, learn to identify the signs of PICS, set healthy boundaries and recover from toxic relationships.
As a result, if they have to walk away to save themselves, they have the courage to do so.
“Sleeping pills became my meal of choice, and wine became my water.” ~Shelia
WHY WORK WITH ME…
As a reentry coach, I support women whose lives have been negatively affected by incarceration due to the imprisonment of a loved one. My primary purpose is to create a supportive learning environment where you are taught the impact of imprisonment and its effects on an individual. That part of coaching is very enlightening to those who never thought about the devastation that incarceration leaves in its path.
Guidance is provided on how to take their lives back. Unfortunately, many women have expressed a sense of helplessness and hopelessness due to their loved one’s behavior as a result of Post Incarceration Syndrome.
Many have stated, “I was happiest when he was in prison” some women have voiced they wish their loved ones were back in prison. But, of course, you won’t understand those statements if you’ve never been in a relationship with someone in prison and have been sorely affected.
I never thought that my passion in life would be advocating for mental health treatment due to incarceration, NEVER! I’ve always deserved to serve others but never in a million years did I think that it would be by sharing my story about how the prison system affected my life, and I’ve never been to prison. But some nights, the passion won’t let me sleep.
I receive dozens of weekly messages from women whose mental state is unraveling as they support someone who is currently or previously incarcerated; been there, done that!
As I talk with people about coaching, a question often arises: How do I know if coaching is for me?
In short, working with a coach helps you reach your highest potential in areas of your life that you struggle with, helping you bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. As your coach, I partner with you to help you get clear on what you want and then help you plan and take strategic action to make it happen.
Reentry and relationships are hard, and if you don’t have the proper tools to help you navigate this journey and set healthy boundaries, you’ll never live out your full potential. As your coach, I want to assist you in winning in every area of your life.
I have to be honest; some relationships will not last beyond those prison walls – how devastating it is to support someone for years, even decades, only to be told when they’re released, they are no longer interested in being in a relationship, or they’re released with aggressive or violent tendencies resulting from several different mental health conditions. Unfortunately, it’s happening more times than not; how will you handle that? I can help you like I’ve helped a countless number of others.
Shelia changed my life! She is an amazing coach! I went to her when I was trying to transition from a broken relationship with my ex-husband, who was incarcerated for 15 years. Changing my mindset from a victim to a survivor WAS NOT EASY.
Shelia met me where I was and gave me support via techniques, success principles, and frameworks to make my transition from where I was to where I wanted to be.
I worked with Shelia to address the challenges I was struggling with supporting my husband, who was in prison for 24 years. She brought valuable resources and practical tools to help clarify my values and self-worth. I appreciate Shelia’s versatility as a thought partner, ally, and coach. Our sessions were productive and efficiently run, which is perfect for someone who is juggling many priorities. Shelia brings great communication, professionalism, empathy, and quality to her work.
In just a few short months of working with Shelia, I have experienced what I can only describe as exponential internal growth. Healing from an unhealthy relationship with someone that I married while he was incarcerated was something that I couldn’t do on my own. Shelia’s unique insight and her attention to the not-so-obvious lend to her overall spirit and excellence as a coach. I am blessed our paths have crossed. She is indeed exceptional. She did not let me off the hook until I reached my goals
WHAT CAN COACHING DO FOR YOU?
What is Coaching?
Coaching is a process in which I support you in staying focused while you make changes in your life. During our session, you will set the agenda, and I will provide the support needed. I will work as a partner with you, utilizing methodologies designed specifically for your desired outcome. I will help learn skills and strategies (time management, organization, socialization) and make personal discoveries (learning styles, gifts, intelligence, life goals, values, vision) which will enable you to see your challenges as manageable while enjoying a happy, balanced and fulfilled life. I will coach you around any areas of struggle by defining your obstacles and designing custom strategies so you can finally succeed!
Why Work With A Coach?
In my experience, both in working with clients and with my coaches over the years, partnering with a coach can be the difference in creating a more purposeful and even extraordinary life versus writing, talking, and dreaming about it. A good coach helps you clarify what you want and then works with you to take intentional action, which is a critical tool for positive change.
Coaching is also powerful in helping you move past blocks and self-sabotage that may have tripped you up – or flat out stopped you in your tracks. And while coaching is generally focused on where you want to go, it also involves taking an honest look at where you are and what you can shift or change to move forward more quickly and easily.
What Are Different Types of Coaches?
There are many types of coaches – health coaches, life coaches, leadership coaches, and relationship coaches. I will focus on reentry and transformational coaching since this is my work and what I know best.
What Are Some Reasons To Work With A Coach?
Clarity: You need to figure out what you want and how to make it happen.
Guidance: You’re trying to move forward with a major goal, maybe to re-energize your career, build a new business, or make time for an important personal priority, and you won’t sound guidance.
Clear Hurdles: You want to make changes in your business or your life and are willing to do the work necessary, but you feel stuck and need some help breaking through common blocks like fear, procrastination, or lack of clarity.
Sounding Board: You want someone experienced to help you think through and process your thoughts, feelings, challenges, and next steps in a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space.
Balance: You need help balancing the realities of your day-to-day life with the big picture so you don’t lose sight of the most important things.
Big Decision: You are trying to make a big decision and need help sorting through information or identifying and weighing your options.
Action & Accountability: You want to go beyond talking and start doing—taking inspired action to create sustainable changes in your life. You want someone to hold you accountable for accomplishing those steps.
Teammate: You want a partner—you don’t want to go solo as you work through a challenge or transition and are looking for someone to support and champion you and to share the journey.
Champion: You want someone to inspire you to go beyond where and what you thought you could – in work and life – and to help celebrate your progress
What Is Your Coaching Process?
Together, we’ll design a plan with your unique vision for success and then break that plan down into small, manageable steps. This plan may focus on your personal and professional life (more often) goal setting. I will help you follow through on those steps, break through obstacles that sabotage your path and keep you stuck, and make adjustments as you keep moving toward your goals.
While the work is not easy, it’s not always serious. Finding clarity, building momentum, and moving forward can be rewarding. It can also be fun. There is humor, joy, and celebration in the journey. Finding an efficiency of effort supports greater ease and flow throughout your day is possible.
Here’s something important to keep in mind whether or not you work with a coach: When you’re making changes or moving toward a big, life-changing goal, you need a combination of reflection and action to succeed. Making space for reflection helps you clear what’s important and your vision, while taking inspired action helps you get there. Although this may seem common sense, it’s easy to find yourself focused on one without the other.
In our busy modern lives, finding time for the deeper work of reflection alone can be a challenge – and many of us were never taught effective processes and tools to guide us if and when we do carve out some quiet space. But, then, to take inspired action, we often need a combination of productivity tools, day-to-day systems, and possibly a few new paradigms (or a few less limiting beliefs) to move past the obstacles and hurdles that have held us back and tripped us up in the past.
My coaching process is designed to help make sure you are doing a combination of the above. I use proven tools to gain greater clarity on what you want and look at the day-to-day habits and practices shaping your workday and life. If, after an honest look, you’re feeling stuck in overwhelmed or procrastination or paralysis by analysis, or maybe you’re living on autopilot more than you’d like, pursuing someone else’s dreams, or finding life’s challenges are pulling you off track, coaching may be for you. It can provide greater clarity while accelerating your progress through more focus and awareness of the tools and possibilities to create the work and the life you want.
You’re worried about what it’s going to cost you to get there. I want you to shift your worry and worry about what it’s going to cost you NOT to get there. ~Lisa Nicholas