Photo Credit Misses Edwards
Loving someone who’s incarcerated is one of the most challenging experiences you can go through. The distance, the separation, and the uncertainty can make you feel like your life is on pause, waiting for the day they’re released. But what if I told you that you don’t have to wait to live your life? What if I told you that you can free yourself emotionally, even while your loved one remains behind bars?
This is what I call *emotional parole*. It’s about granting yourself the freedom to live, to heal, and to grow, even as you continue to love someone who is locked up. It’s not about giving up on them—it’s about not giving up on yourself.
Setting Boundaries
One of the first steps toward emotional parole is setting boundaries. When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s incarcerated, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. You might find yourself constantly worrying about them, sacrificing your own well-being in the process. But to truly be there for them, you have to take care of yourself first.
Setting boundaries means recognizing that your life doesn’t stop just because they’re away. It means making time for the things that nourish your soul, whether that’s spending time with friends, pursuing your passions, or simply enjoying a quiet moment to yourself. It means saying no when you need to and not feeling guilty about it.
Self-Care is Essential
Loving someone in prison can be draining. The emotional weight can leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, and isolated. That’s why self-care isn’t just important—it’s essential.
Self-care can take many forms. It might mean getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active. It might mean seeking support from others who understand what you’re going through. It might mean finding a therapist to talk to, journaling your thoughts, or taking up a hobby that brings you joy. Whatever it looks like for you, make sure it’s something that fills your cup, because you can’t pour from an empty one.
Living Your Life
One of the biggest challenges of loving someone who’s incarcerated is the feeling of being stuck, as if your life is on hold until they return. But emotional parole is about breaking free from that mindset. It’s about living your life fully, right now.
This doesn’t mean you stop caring about them or that you forget about their struggles. It means you choose to keep moving forward, despite the circumstances. You continue to pursue your dreams, to build a life that you’re proud of, so that when they do come home, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving.
The Power of Emotional Parole
Emotional parole isn’t easy. It takes strength to prioritize your own needs, to set boundaries, and to live your life in the face of uncertainty. But it’s a powerful choice that only you can make for yourself.
By freeing yourself emotionally, you give yourself the best chance at happiness and peace, even while navigating the challenges of loving someone who is incarcerated. And when they finally do return, you’ll be ready—not just as the person who waited for them, but as someone who lived, grew, and flourished in their own right.
You deserve that freedom. You deserve that peace. Take your emotional parole—you’ve earned it.